I don’t know why but I can’t seem to get over with this topic. Somehow, there is something new I am discovering about clearing our thoughts and I am just propelled to write more about it. I started with Decluttering my moms attic but I am ending up thinking about how much Decluttering have I actually undertaken.
I have always been an organized person. My cupboards, my books, my room have always been very neat and tidy. I try to instill the same trait in my kids. “If you take anything from any drawers in the house, put it back there after you are done. Next time when you need it you will automatically find it there. No need for you to go fishing and hunting and no need for me to help you find it”. I say this to my kids almost everyday. It’s become so routine that I see Pratham roll his eyes when I am about to start the sentence.
But I never realised that I need to sort out my thoughts too. Just as I make sure that my house is clutter free, it is equally important to declutter my mind. When i do away with things that have been in my home attics, i close that chapter from my life. It’s like, ” out of sight is out of mind” but the same is not true for the mind attic. Here we clutter ourselves with so much hate and negativity that we don’t find it easy to let go, to forgive and forget. We keep coming back to those memories which have caused us hurt, pain and inexpressible grief. And in the end, it results in sour relationships, bitter communication and wet pillows. Also, hair fall, dark circles and lost peace of mind.
The things in the attic keeping popping out now and then, screaming for our attention and somehow give us hints that now you have to move us out. The jammed doors that won’t close tell you that it’s time to declutter. Our mind does the same. It too give us hints that the negativity is eating up too much space, it’s getting cramped in here, making it impossible for the sunlight of positivity and fresh air of happiness to spread. The goodness, the peace are getting suffocated. But we don’t recognize these hints, either out of ignorance or to avoid confrontations. And when we do realise, lot of precious time is lost, youth is spent, desires are drained, wishes are washed away.
A weighing scale helps me to keep a check on how much weight I am losing or gaining. But what about the weight I am carrying on my mind?? I never thought that there is no scale to measure this and if I don’t lose this soon, it will just go on piling and that’s very hazardous for anyone’s mental health. I have to depend on the signals that my mind gives me to start working on clearing my mind space.
The trip down memory lane, the vacation with my family, the conflict between a daughter and a daughter in law, the sadness of being separated from parents, the happiness of being back to my own home, everything was creating such a ruckus in my mind, my soul that it was getting difficult to understand what is it that I really want. What will make me happy eventually. I am still working on it but now I know that you don’t have to choose between your past and future. You can hope for better things in future while embracing the past and forgiving all those who hurt you intentionally or unintentionally. Piling up on past hatred does no good, neither does spitting venom on the person who caused hurt to you. It just escalates the problem from bad to worse. One thing leads to another. Digging up old graves will reveal only skeletons of the past. Instead sow the seeds of forgiveness, nurture them with unconditional love and care and very soon bright flowers of hope, peace and happiness in vibrant hues will start blossoming. It’s not easy doing this but instead of directing our energy to remember what was just plain painful and becoming a sob-a-holic, isn’t it sensible to divert our energy into forgetting it and emerging a winner??
The past will return to haunt you. It will suck out every drop of positivity from you. But it depends on us, how determined we are to scare away the ghosts and make way for the Angels. I am making a promise to myself today, that my future, my happiness, my goodness will not be shaped at the hands of past criticism and hatred. Whenever it will raise its heads, I will calmly tell myself, ” it’s ok Neha, this is all behind you. It is all over. It’s never going to return. What you see now are just ghosts from the past, don’t let them spoil your present or future. They are thrown at you so that they get a reaction and become alive but it’s upto you to keep them buried and show them that they hold no importance in your life and they are not welcome in your mind attic. It’s a happy place for happy memories and you have angels guarding it against them.
Now that I have understood this and I have recognized the hints which were thrown at me from time to time, I am looking at improving my mental health. I have read about the benefits of meditation and I think it’s time to try it.
To all of you out there, feeling unhappy, confused, frustrated about where is life taking you, which direction you are headed to, take some time out for yourself. Be one with yourself if only for a few minutes everyday. Just close your eyes and listen to the beautiful rhythm created by your breathing and Heart beats. And if possible, go on a holiday, at least once in two years. It will definitely clear the fog and you will see the sun shining brightly.