An unwed father

I grab the newspaper after my morning walk every day. I like to read the parenting and health related pages. Suddenly a big headline grabs my attention. Tusshar Kapoor becomes a dad. The first thing that crosses my mind is when did he marry?? And why was it nowhere in the papers?? Did he hide it so that it doesn’t affect his fan following? You know, its normal for actors to do that. And then I went on to read the content. His son is born through surrogacy….. I got confused, and after a moment or two, I realised that he is an unwed father and the baby was not thrust on him just because he used his sperm to conceive it but it was a well thought decision, taken after lot of soul searching and counselling by expert doctors!!!  Woooow!! That is awesome!!! I felt so ashamed of myself for judging the book before actually reading it. This man here had the guts to follow his parental instincts and he has gone ahead and done something which is such a big taboo here in India. And I am sitting here comfortably and ripping apart his life as if it is any of my business. Shame on you Neha Kedia…..

Single male parent is generally synonymous with a man who has either separated from his wife or whose wife has died. Surrogacy is an option for those COUPLES who are not able to conceive naturally. Tusshar Kapoor is neither married nor an infertile couple. He is still a single parent.  He became a father after deciding to bring his child in the world, and care for him single handedly without marrying. Science helped him and with IVF and surrogacy his wish was fulfilled. I know many couples who are struggling with their kids. I, myself feel burdened by it so many days. And Tusshar has taken the plunge out of his own choice, his own will and desire to raise a life and dedicate himself in his upbringing without a woman to share this responsibility. That is, for me, very respectable and worth a salute. It’s really commendable that he doesn’t think that marriage is the first step for making babies or that you need to love a woman first to be able to become a father. It’s the dawn of a new era. Being a celebrity, this step by him will open the doors for so many other men who secretly wish to father a child but are not able to do so because they haven’t been lucky enough to fall in love with the right women or simply because they are not courageous enough like Tusshar. He has joined the gang of super dads who are not afraid of the responsibility and wear their dad badge proudly.  It made my heart melt when he said that he doesn’t want to talk much about the baby, forget about sharing a picture because, “nazar lag jati hai!!” Awwww!! That’s so sweet!!! He also mentioned that he is learning how to burp the child after his feed sessions. I suddenly find him very attractive and hot!! A man with such a soft heart is bound to be irresistible!!

And as for the little gentleman, Laksshya Tusshar Kapoor (notice the double s in their names?? That’s courtesy Ekta Kapoor; she is the numerology connection in this family), he is not even aware of how influential his birth is going to be. He is already made it to the record books and is etched in history.  His name will always generate remarks about his father and how he bent the rules to have him. I am sure Tusshar must have given this a good thought because the road ahead is bouncy and bumpy. A lot of questions posed by the prodigy will have to be dealt with very sensitively. I am wondering how he is going to answer his queries about his mother. The female donor’s name is not disclosed as per medical guidelines. The child has the genes of one women and he has been nurtured in the womb of another women. He is definitely going to be curious about who his mother is, how did she look, why is there no picture of her in the house, why this, why that. I hope, in fact I am sure he will handle him very well. I hope he tells the child (when he is old enough to understand) that his mother did not sell him but it was an arrangement made between them because he was ready to be a father but not a husband. He was prepared to stay up all night, feed him, change his diapers and rock him to sleep but he was not prepared to share him with his mother. He thought that he will be both father and mother to him. He could have adopted but the laws are stringent and he wanted a child with his own flesh and blood, his genes, his traits. I hope his school allows Tusshar to attend mother’s day events and he can be enrolled in mother- toddler classes with his father.

Think of this. A thought so genuine, so pure, which stems from a simple wish of nurturing a life, and watching him bloom and flourish, with its roots firmly holding the soil of love and some people call it illegal. According to a senior doctor, as per RULES, this shouldn’t have happened. The rules are in place but the legislation is not passed. Thank god!!! In the words of another senior doctor,” no laws broken as none exist.”

All the best to this unique father-son duo, may you experience the highs and lows of life together.  May your relationship blossom each day. May you always be there for each other. Amen.


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